


Of Secrets, Burdens, and Change

by elfwannabe



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-10
Updated: 2014-02-10
Packaged: 2018-01-11 19:26:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elfwannabe/pseuds/elfwannabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>News of the First Kinslaying has finally come to light in Thingol's court and Artanis asks Celeborn to her chambers for a talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Secrets, Burdens, and Change

The door was ajar, left open for him, but Celeborn knocked before he entered all the same.

He found her seated alone at her writing desk, which was strange enough; usually when he visited her chambers, her ladies attended her- for appearance’s sake, at least. But it was the way she was seated that concerned him more. She seemed...small somehow, like a wilting flower, and she would not meet his gaze, even when she turned to him. Silently, she gestured for him to sit. He did.

“You have heard of the Kinslaying by now.”

“Yes. I wish that I might have heard of it sooner, my lady, and from your lips.” His voice stayed even, but there was an edge to it that only grew sharper as he continued. “I had thought we were closer than this.”

“I could not, Celeborn. Surely you must understand that I could not. How could I tell you, when even Thingol- even Melian- did not know? Do you think I wished to keep my silence? Do you believe that this has not weighed heavy on my heart?”

“Then why would you not confide in me? Do you think that I would have betrayed your secrets? That I would go running to report them?”

“ _No_. That’s not-” There’s a huff of frustration as she fumbles for words.

“Why, then?” He snapped, cutting her off. “Tell me _something_ I might understand.”

She raised her head then and he almost flinched at the expression in her eyes- fierce and proud, angry and hurt. He realized, abruptly, that she’s still fighting, that she has been all this time, and this meeting was a defense- a way to head off an attack that she’s so utterly certain will come. Suddenly he repented of the tone he had taken with her. But he had not seen- not until now.

“I could not place you in such a position, trapped between your duties to your uncle and your loyalty to me. And the news was not mine alone to share. If it impacted only me, I would have been more open; I would have told you long ago. But my brothers-”

She would have continued, had he not leaned forward and taken her hand in his own. The gentle gesture seemed to calm her, at least a little, and she retreated into herself again, her voice going quiet and soft.

“I will understand if you wish to end things between us.” She looked as though she was preparing to be struck.

“Artanis-”

“You have made me no promises. We are not betrothed. There is no reason-”

“ _Artanis_.” Finally, she stopped and looked at him. “Do you truly think so little of me?”

Whatever she had been expecting, that was not it; her eyes widened slightly and she simply stared.

“I think I am not wrong in saying that these past months I have come to know your heart and mind better than most. You are proud, stubborn, sometimes brash. But you are never malicious. Do you truly think that I would hear such a tale and be satisfied to condemn you with mere rumor? As I said, I would hear _your_ account of the event from _your_ lips. I trust you, Artanis, and you deserve the benefit of my doubt.” 

He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “Now you must trust me. Speak to me and have faith that I will not abandon you.”

So she did. For the first time since it had happened, Artanis found herself giving a full account of her role in the kinslaying- the choices that she had made and the reasons that she had made them. And he sat quietly, listening, attentive to her every word. And at the end of the explanation, he was there still, just as he said he would be. She stared into his eyes, searching for some reaction- for anger, for indignation, for shock. What she found was something different- sorrow, grief, and unexpectedly, compassion.

“You have carried this burden alone for far too long,” he began, reaching over to stroke her cheek. “And it _has_ defined you, though not in the way that you believe. I understand better, now, the change that I have seen in you since your arrival in Doriath. Your heart has healed in your time here. You have grown in wisdom and understanding. That fire burns within you still,” he drops his hand from her cheek, moving it to rest over her heart. “Yet you have tamed it.”

“‘Artanis’ is a part of you and always will be. But you have become so much more. You are… “ He paused, struggling to come up with a description that could match what he knows to be true, what he feels in his heart. In the end, it’s a simple name that passes from his lips- a name he has thought before but never given voice to. “You are _Galadriel._ ”

He grew nervous in the silence that followed. It had been bold of him to name her- perhaps too bold- and now he worried that he had crossed line that he should not have.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Tears filled her eyes, then, and she threw her arms around him, holding him tight.

“It’s beautiful.” She leaned back, pausing a moment to look into his eyes before pressing her lips to his, kissing him deeply.

“Say it again.”


End file.
